There is nothing more heart breaking than preparing for the final days of a love ones life. So, with great sadness I sit here tonight trying to put words to my many feelings on this subject.
Over a year and a half ago my sister in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the intestines and pancreas. All any of us had was the hope that however she decided to live from that point on, we would have just a little more time with her.
She began chemo therapy as soon as she could. There was never any hope that she would be cured, only a little hope that she could buy some time. As it turned out even as grave as her situation sounded, she in fact was beating the odds. All of her family delighted in knowing that the treatments she was undergoing was keeping the monster cancer at bay.
Her fight has been so brave and through all of the sickness she has rallied forward just to see another day.
After such a grand stand against the invading cancer last week she announced that she had made the choice to end her treatments. Her body could no longer substain her and the fight had taken its' toll. After a long discussion with her doctors and family she choosing to die in peace.
This news was so heartbreaking to hear. In an effort to support her decision to die in her home in as peaceful of a manner as possible, my husband and myself along with his brother and sister in law made a visit to our sister.
There is nothing that can truly prepare anyone for death. It comes at a whim, in the middle of the day, in the early morning light and in the darkest of darken nights. It comes to claim the young, the middle age, the teenager, and the oldest of old persons. Death has it's own life and no one is exempt from it.
For as much life as each of us has, death has it's time for everyone. All any of us can do is to live as fully as we can for as long as we can knowing full well that death will surely come to call.
As we gather to spend a few precious moments with our dear sister, it is also a reminder that time is fleeting. To love today is a memory for tomorrow, happy, full of radiant sun shine. None of us can fully feel the impact of a lost loved one till it comes our way.
My greatest hope now in preparation for the final curtain call of a loving, sweet and so very precious woman is simply that I have learned never to pass up a moment to be happy, to love and to be loved.
Time is fleeting and so are the days of all of our lives. I pray we lived them well, loving as best we can, knowing that even without realizing it, we too are in preparation for a final farewell for ourselves or someone that we love.
To Barbara, who has always supported my writing, encouraged me to go forward, work harder and to believe in myself. I pray that your peace comes and somewhere in your eternity, your spirit is happy and healthy forever more.
My love,
CJ
