In Preparation

   There is nothing more heart breaking than preparing for the final days of a love ones life. So, with great sadness I sit here tonight trying to put words to my many feelings on this subject.
   Over a year and a half ago my sister in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the intestines and pancreas. All any of us had was the hope that however she decided to live from that point on, we would have just a little more time with her.
   She began chemo therapy as soon as she could. There was never any hope that she would be cured, only a little hope that she could buy some time. As it turned out even as grave as her situation sounded, she in fact was beating the odds. All of her family delighted in knowing that the treatments she was undergoing was keeping the monster cancer at bay.
   Her fight has been so brave and through all of the sickness she has rallied forward just to see another day.
After such a grand stand against the invading cancer last week she announced that she had made the choice to end her treatments. Her body could no longer substain her and the fight had taken its' toll. After a long discussion with her doctors and family she choosing to die in peace.
   This news was so heartbreaking to hear. In an effort to support her decision to die in her home in as peaceful of a manner as possible, my husband and myself along with his brother and sister in law made a visit to our sister. 
   There is nothing that can truly prepare anyone for death. It comes at a whim, in the middle of the day, in the early morning light and in the darkest of darken nights. It comes to claim the young, the middle age, the teenager, and the oldest of old persons. Death has it's own life and no one is exempt from it.
   For as much life as each of us has, death has it's time for everyone. All any of us can do is to live as fully as we can for as long as we can knowing full well that death will surely come to call.
   As we gather to spend a few precious moments with our dear sister, it is also a reminder that time is fleeting. To love today is a memory for tomorrow, happy, full of radiant sun shine. None of us can fully feel the impact of a lost loved one till it comes our way.
   My greatest hope now in preparation for the final curtain call of a loving, sweet and so very precious woman is simply that I have learned never to pass up a moment to be happy, to love and to be loved.
   Time is fleeting and so are the days of all of our lives. I pray we lived them well, loving as best we can, knowing that even without realizing it, we too are in preparation for a final farewell for ourselves or someone that we love.
   To Barbara, who has always supported my writing, encouraged me to go forward, work harder and to believe in myself. I pray that your peace comes and somewhere in your eternity, your spirit is happy and healthy forever more.

My love,
CJ

Taking Stock

     Our lives are so hard, filled with horror, sorrow and the loss of life every second. There is so much tragedy in our world today that once in awhile we must stop and just take stock of the good that we have to enjoy.
     Nothing about finding joy amidst all the sorrow that exist is easy, but as people of God we always have a chance to do so. I know that right now in our country people are crying out at what they think is unjust action of our police forces. Never mind the countless lives that are lost everyday to race on race violence, domestic violence, civil unrest, and numerous murders that take place second by second.
     Each of us only have a limited time to be in this world. It doesn't matter what religion or race you are, at some point we all succumb to death. It is my sincerest belief that as I live each moment, I must take stock of who I am and how my action impact not only my life, but those around me.
     Being kind, caring for others, lending a hand whenever possible, and working towards finding peaceful solutions to things we must change is essential to our growth and well being. 
     Take the time to take stock of your own life and your own actions before you start pointing your fingers at others. If you are taking care of yourself then you might just understand that you are your own full time job. Believe it or not, taking stock of yourself is a daily requirement to becoming a better person.
Find peace, it's worth it.

CJ

A Turkey to remember,

     So we've had our Thanksgiving day union with our daughter and son in law and the two oldest grand-girls. We traveled the usual two hours and fifteen minutes to their home for some good old fashion southern cooking.
     Nothing says holiday like getting the family together to break some bread along with lots of other food choices. It is especially wonderful when I don't have to spend quiet so much time in the kitchen either. 
     Even though the family gathering had fewer people there this year it was nice to be able to gather with the ones that could show up. No cussing, no throw downs, no challenges to get physical with anyone and no one calling you bad names, wow that's seriously awesome.
     I'm so happy to be able to travel to my daughter's home and feel welcomed and loved. How refreshing that is for me and no I didn't miss my angry family, my brothers, sisters and aging father, who by the way hates me.
    This year, Thanksgiving was just that. It was a time to be very thankful for what I had and not to spend needless time on that which has been lost.
      All there is left to do is to make plans for Christmas and hope and pray that all goes well, just like this turkey day that will be remembered.

Y'all be good now, you hear...
CJ

The Waiting

     Life reveals itself in sorrowful ways. Too often our lives end even though we have tried all that modern medicine has to offer. 
     It has been thirteen months since my sister in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She like most of us was not willing to just give in to this disease, thus her fight for time began.
     I have prayed for her all these months in hope that somehow she could find peace with what was to come, death. My heart is sad that the last time she and I spoke I could feel that her hopes were rapidly diminishing.
     How do you go about helping someone to see the finale to their life? What words of encourage could I possibly share with her that would ease her mind?
     Precious moments are all any of us have on this earth. Every second that we live has it's own value. I have no great words of wisdom for her. All I have is my ability to express how much she has meant to me as a sister of love and a great mentor.
     Barbara has always encouraged me to write. It was she that helped me to be able to publish my first book, 'Howling Wolf At Flatbread Creek', while telling me that blogging would be a great way to open up my writing to the world.
As she continues to hope for the best way to stay among the living, I know, as does she that it is only a matter of time before all things end.
     We never know when any of us will take our last breath. Having said that, I hope that all of you and everyone world wide will take the time to say I love you to those that matter.
     Our world, this world will not last forever. It is incumbent upon all of us to take care of one another, to always know that there are only a few Precious Moments for each us.
     Please take time to love one another as much as possible, to live in harmony with others' and remember that loving one another is the greater part of humanity.
     Find peace, share love, before it passes away.

CJ.
 
 

ENDLESS

      No matter where you are, or where you go, the company you keep my love is with you. My love wraps it's arms around you, holds you up when your heart is heavy. My love is unwavering and knows no boundaries.

      As far as I must go, even to the end of time for you, always my love remains the same, steadfast, hugging you every second that you exist. I will love you today, tomorrow and forever, no matter how life spins around us.

      Count the number of stars in heaven and that is the number of hearts beats my love holds for you. As I think of you now,  I'm sharing my love this day and everyday, always my eternal love.



CJ

Knowing

The most wonderful precious moments are knowing when God has your back, through the good times and the bad ones.
Understanding that when we leave this world the eternity that is offered to us is much more glorious than what we could have ever had here on earth.

Happy hugs to all,
CJ
 

Living in the moment

     Knowing how to live in the moment of happiness is important. So many things in our lives invade our personal space and peace. These past many weeks that I spent with my lovely grand girls reminds me that I have a very wonderful life.
     I have one moment,  just this time in space to leave a lasting impression on their lives. The time that we share with each other is invaluable to me, there's nothing like it or more important.
     If I have learn anything from my strange and very informative life it is to simply live in the moment. Don't seek that which hasn't revealed it's self to you, don't keep looking behind where you once where. Take every second to enjoy where you are and with whom you share it with. For this time, this place will only comes once, don't waste what you have by looking for time in  any other place.
     Living in the moment, it's all you have. Live to the fullest.
I do.

CJ